Gender Injustice- How to ‘not be Sanskaari’!
A social cause that I deeply care and am passionate about is Gender Equality. In the fairly patriarchal society that we live in, I too, like millions of women, have been affected by gender bias on several occasions and it were my personal experiences that triggered my activism and need to see positive progress in this area.
From a very young age, most girls in India are taught so-called “sanskaar” (morals) that they have to uphold to become good daughters and wives while the boys of the family are given the freedom to do whatever they please. From only teaching girls household chores, to asking them to not engage in conversations with boys. From being taught that staying out late or wearing short clothes basically means asking for something bad to happen to you, to not talking about periods in public.
To the people reading this article, these may seem like slightly exaggerated statements as most urban households are progressing and providing equal opportunities to both their daughters and sons. But, more often than not, derogatory and sexist values are taught and comments are passed in such sly ways that we tend to ignore them. Gender Equality in India was reported at 0.067% by the World Bank Indicators and India was also ranked as the 4th worst country in the world in terms of Gender Equality. These shameful statistics are exactly why we need to do the right thing, which is to stand up for ourselves and shut sexism down at a grassroots level.
A few months ago, I was selected to attend a conference and I remember being very excited as this was my first offline event in a long time. I had an orientation along with my peers and a facilitator one day before the main day. The orientation was just about to end when our facilitator instructed the boys to leave the meeting link and the girls to stay. She then went on to ask all the girls to strictly not wear skirts to the conference as we wouldn’t want to get in any trouble and distract anyone. It was clear what she was implying and it was shocking for me to hear this coming from a woman. This incident is a perfect example of sly sexism that takes place too often.
Another way of sly sexism is justifying things like not allowing girls to openly interact with people and go out like the boys, as “sheltering” them. Sheltering women to a point where there is a lack of awareness about almost everything is what leads to an increase in victims of crimes like Human Trafficking, making it easy for perpetrators to trick women into making wrong decisions. Minor girls constituted 76% of Human Trafficking victims in India over the past decade because of a lack of sense of awareness. The crime is just as brutal as the aftermath of it. Even the fortunate few that survive are mostly never able to overcome the trauma. This is exactly why we need more places and NGOs like ‘Kshamata’ that foster survivors of this horrendous crime and help with rehabilitation. The course I did with TribesforGOOD was in collaboration with Kshamata and it was a meaningful experience that will always be close to my heart. I got to interact with the girls at the NGO and conduct Interviews and Workshops on essential life skills like Effective Communication and Attitudinal Behaviours. My team and I prepared relatable activities so that the girls could grasp concepts better and all of our sessions with them were super interactive. By the end of my sessions, I had a lot to reflect upon and was left truly inspired by the progress each of the girls had made regardless of the countless obstacles they had to face in their pasts. The sessions were insightful and grounding. They also got me thinking that the bare minimum that we, as a society, can do for these survivors is to help ensure they have a smooth reintegration into society so that they can move on to become successful in their desired fields of work.
I’m often regarded as “way too feminist” or “very modern and open-minded” by the people around me and for the longest time, I used to view these comments as insults. The reason for that is simply the environment we all grew up in, one in which there aren’t equal opportunities or equal distribution of resources for men and women. And in our society, if a woman tries to break through the glass ceiling and speak up and ask for what she deserves, she is labelled to be not so sanskaari. I’ve grown to understand that it is important to hold your ground and stand for what you truly believe in and have strong morals that cannot be crushed with force or abuse of power. Because one voice can start a movement. And I hope to continue to be not so Sanskaari and help bring about positive and lasting change.
Author: Vaishnavi Namdar, 12th grade student at Oakridge International School, Hyderabad is a gender advocate. She loves to debate and dance in her free time. At TribesforGOOD, Vaishnavi participated in awareness workshop of lifeskills for victims of human trafficking.
